Spring Things
Sex and the large language model + a bunch of random stuff
I always say that the year doesn’t start until March. Spring is when everything is in bloom, and you have more time because you’re out of the holidays and hitting your stride. We’re officially in Aries season—when Dustin says we gotta do “spring things” while the weather is fabulous, like hiking and dining outdoors. The best time of the year is now. How are you spending it?
An AI-Prompted Episode of Sex and the City
I cannot write fiction. I’ve tried and tried over the years, taking classes and workshops, only to find out that I’m purely a dyed-in-the-wool journalist. Excluding the fiction writing I did in elementary school, my attempts have always felt flat—and I’m okay with that.
Now that employers are asking everyone to lean into generative AI, I’ve fully embraced the technology and have been inspired to play around with it for personal projects. For example, I fed Claude several words that describe me, according to my network, and asked it to tell me what animal shares my characteristics. The answer? A dolphin!
I appreciate how AI generates alternative titles and creative ideas I wouldn’t have thought of. As one of my editor friends said, the best part about writing with AI technology is that these tools will never get offended if you have a lot of feedback.
While I was super sick last month, I started binging episodes of Sex and the City—and, as Carrie Bradshaw would say, I couldn’t help but wonder what Claude would generate if I gave it a specific prompt for one of the episodes. Fans of the TV show will immediately recognize the formula.
Desert Visions and Career Decisions
OPENING SCENE: Carrie types frantically on her laptop in her apartment, surrounded by fashion magazines and empty coffee cups.
CARRIE (VOICEOVER): In a world increasingly run by algorithms, I couldn't help but wonder... when artificial intelligence writes your thoughts better than you do, where does that leave the human behind the keyboard?
[CUT TO: Carrie meeting her editor who's reviewing her column on an iPad]
EDITOR: I'm sorry, Carrie, but we're pivoting to AI-generated content. It's just more cost-effective.
CARRIE: But I've been writing this column for years! What can AI possibly know about real relationships?
EDITOR: [showing her the screen] It studied your work and wrote this. Most readers couldn't tell the difference.
CARRIE (VOICEOVER): Just like that, I'd been replaced by something that wasn't even smart enough to need therapy.
[CUT TO: Brunch with the girls at their favorite spot]
MIRANDA: [looking gaunt and fidgety] These tariffs are destroying my legal practice. All my international clients are fleeing.
SAMANTHA: [staring at phone] Crypto doesn't care about tariffs, honey. I just made $5,000 while you were complaining. SamanthaCoin is going to the moon!
CHARLOTTE: [nervously] Did you see Trump's latest tariff announcements? It's affecting all my podcast sponsors!
CARRIE: At least you all have careers. Mine's been outsourced to an algorithm.
MIRANDA: [pushing food around plate] You should try Ozempic. I've lost so much weight that I can wear my law school jeans.
[ENTER Jackson (Jack Black) - literally rolls into the restaurant and pops up at their table]
JACKSON: [exuberant] Ladies! I couldn't help overhearing. AI taking jobs? Tariffs? Crypto? Sounds like you need a spiritual reset!
SAMANTHA: [eyeing him] I wouldn't mind a physical one either.
[CUT TO: Samantha's apartment. Enter Reid (Bill Hader)]
REID: [deadpan] So I hear we're going to Joshua Tree to eat mushrooms and find ourselves.
SAMANTHA: I'm more interested in finding what's in your pants.
REID: [in perfect documentary voice] And here we observe Samantha in her natural habitat, using sexual innuendo as a defense mechanism against authentic connection.
SAMANTHA: [surprised laugh] Did you just psychoanalyze me?
REID: Former SNL cast member. We're all part-time therapists.
[MONTAGE: The group preparing for trip]
[CUT TO: Charlotte's podcast studio, she's recording her final episode before the trip]
[DOORBELL rings, enter Trey/Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan)]
COOPER/TREY: [holding coffee cup] Charlotte, there's a darkness in Joshua Tree. But also incredible light. The owls are not what they seem.
CHARLOTTE: [confused] Trey? Why are you talking like that?
COOPER/TREY: [intense stare] I've had a revelation, Charlotte. About us. About everything. The answers are in the desert.
[CUT TO: Miranda's apartment, she's weighing herself obsessively]
[KNOCK on door, enter Jo (Lena Dunham)]
JO: [bursting in] Your friends said you need someone to keep you honest on this trip! I'm Jo. I run the "Bodies Are Just Bodies" anti-diet collective.
MIRANDA: [skeptical] Did Carrie send you? I'm fine.
JO: [pointing to Miranda's hidden stash of Ozempic] Then what's that? Let me guess - diabetes medication for your non-existent diabetes?
[ROAD TRIP MONTAGE: The four couples are driving to Palm Springs, then Joshua Tree. Samantha checking crypto prices, Miranda refusing to eat, Charlotte jumping at news alerts, Carrie writing in her journal]
[ARRIVE AT LUXURIOUS DESERT HOUSE]
JACKSON: [excitedly] Welcome to consciousness expansion weekend! Before the mushrooms, we need to set intentions.
CARRIE: I need a new career path that AI can't steal.
SAMANTHA: I want SamanthaCoin to hit one thousand dollars.
MIRANDA: I want to stop feeling guilty about eating.
CHARLOTTE: I want to understand why my ex-husband is channeling a TV detective.
[MUSHROOM TRIP SEQUENCE - MONTAGE of hallucinations, revelations, and absurd desert encounters]
CARRIE: [hallucinating her laptop talking to her] You don't need AI! You need to write a book about people trying to stay human in a digital world!
SAMANTHA: [to cactus that looks like Warren Buffett] So you're saying cryptocurrency is just digital tulip mania?
MIRANDA: [suddenly ravenous, eating everything] I've been starving myself! No wonder I can't think straight!
CHARLOTTE: [in a red-curtained vision with COOPER/TREY] I don't need you or your cryptic messages. I've built something real on my own!
[SUNRISE: Everyone gathering, looking changed]
CARRIE (VOICEOVER): Sometimes you need to go to the desert to remember who you are. And sometimes you need hallucinogens to remember what matters.
[FINAL SCENE: Back in New York, brunch]
CARRIE: So I'm writing a book about our generation trying to stay authentic in an artificial world.
SAMANTHA: I sold all my crypto and invested in a women's health startup. Turns out my skills are better suited to actual humans.
MIRANDA: [looking healthier, eating bread] I fired my Ozempic dealer. Turns out I like food more than fitting into sample sizes.
CHARLOTTE: I realized my fear was really about feeling powerless in a changing world. So, I joined a tech policy advocacy group. If you can't beat them, regulate them!
[THEIR PARTNERS arrive with thoughtful gifts that represent each woman's journey]
CARRIE (TYPING): In a world determined to digitize us, monetize us, and optimize us, perhaps the most revolutionary act is simply being imperfect humans, loving other imperfect humans. Because no algorithm could possibly calculate the value of a true connection.
[FADE TO BLACK]
Revisiting Casa Perez
As some of you may recall, I wrote about my epic first visit to Marfa back in 2007. The afternoon my friends and I spent hanging at Casa Perez—a secluded ranch where Donald Judd’s family would spend time hanging lunch outdoors back in the day—always felt like a fuzzy dream. Did we actually take a nap under a large oleander shrub? Did I really see several water spigots coming out of the ground?
I always wanted to revisit the ranch, but it’s not accessible to the public. When my pals told me that the Judd Foundation offered volunteer opportunities to do conservation work on Casa Perez, I jumped on it. Folks from the foundation drove us there at dawn, fed us delicious burritos and sandwiches, and gave us the tools to weed invasive grasses.
I left with new friends, sneakers covered in burrs, and just a few snaps of the place. It was exactly how I remembered it.
Stuff I’m Digging Right Now
Rocketbuster Boots
How did I not visit Rocketbuster Boots before this year? My friend Elizabeth came into town with her family, and touring this custom cowboy boot business was the highlight of my tour.
An artist who works here painting boots showed us around the colorful space, which has the largest pair of leather boots ever created, Elvis and Atomic era paraphernalia, and rows and rows of artfully crafted boots people have commissioned over the years. Each pair costs about $3,000, and it takes a year to make each pair. The artist regaled us with hilarious stories about the celebrities who have passed through town to pick up their one-of-a-kind shoes, and we saw bootmakers in action, working on a pair of boots Nike purchased for Drake that had an illustration of DJ Screw.
Extending celery’s shelf life
Mom told me about a hack that blows my mind: Your celery will stay crisper longer if you wrap it in aluminum foil. It works; try it!
Buster “The Detroit Eye Tuck” Poindexter on Johnny Carson
David Johansen bullshitting and smoking cigarettes on the Tonight Show in 1988 is everything. He’s so smooth and funny, it’s inspiring. Rest in power, doll face.
Making risotto
Fact: Nine out of 10 of my friends on Instagram said that they didn’t know how to make risotto. If you’re in that 90 percent, I empower you to try making this basic recipe. Risotto has a reputation for being fussy, but it’s the easiest thing to make. Risotto also serves as a nice canvas to add whatever you have on hand—shrimp, asparagus, peas, or even blueberries.
Once you’ve built up your confidence with this recipe, get fancy and try making Anthony Bourdain’s wild mushroom risotto with truffle oil. I remember watching him make this for several musicians in the U.S. Desert episode of Parts Unknown and thinking that risotto was the perfect dish for large groups because it's scalable and affordable yet comforting and elegant.
The Consummate Host
My new friend and the unofficial El Paso ambassador, Wayne Hilton, started a fun YouTube channel where he shares recipes and hosting ideas. It's Martha Stewart but with a sense of humor, a curled mustache, and a hedonistic-meets-whimsical twist.
48 Hours in Bat City
Taking a spring road trip to celebrate my birthday is becoming an annual tradition. Road trips clear my head and energize me. I get to catch up on podcasts and listen to new books, and if the reception is good, I can catch up with folks while taking in the scenery. This year, I made a trip to DFW and Austin to see a couple of shows, see family and friends, and visit my old stomping grounds.
This trip inspired me to create a quick Austin guide with things you can do during a long weekend.
In a city with several Instagram-pretty restaurants with mediocre food and lackluster service, award-winning Birdie’s sets itself apart. It’s first come, first serve, and everything is fantastic. Try the fried polenta.
I knew I wanted to move to Austin after graduating college when Franny brought me here ages ago. This antique wonderland is amazing, and they’re always getting new things—interesting dresses, cool collectible glasses, funky lamps, etc. They play cool music, too.
Get a Japanese businessman bento box for lunch. ‘Nuff said.
This cute bookstore was part of an old post office. It sells a curated collection of books, magazines, stationery, and gifts, and there is a cafe and a large outdoor space with picnic tables that are usually occupied by university students. They also have a membership program that pays for itself if you use it to treat yourself to a daily coffee.
Back when I worked out of Canopy during my Small Coffee PR days, I would frequent this little gallery and gaze longingly at all of the rare, vintage photos of Devo, Beastie Boys, Blondie, etc. I finally got the bread to purchase a signed photo of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds (who I’m going to see live next month!). If you go, say hi to Steve for me!
I’m no wine expert, but I do follow advice Haley Schultheis shared with me: If you ever see South African wine on a menu, get it. It’s usually very good and hard to find, she explained.
South African wines are more readily available in Austin, thanks to Cape Bottle Room. The owner, Danya, helped me find a special sparkling rose for my dad the last time I visited.
This hip acai cafe-meets-bar feels very Los Angeles. It’s in the middle of a quiet neighborhood, and its spacious outdoor area makes it the perfect spot to meet up with friends.
Wild Basin Wilderness Preserve
It’s been ages since I’ve been here, but this is one of my favorite spots for a hike. Go early, pay attention to the map so you don’t get lost in the tangle of trails, and take a Zyrtec.
Keanu’s Korner: A Perfect Day
I’ve wanted to pay homage to Keanu Reeves here for a long time. Since my book club is diving into his novel The Book of Elsewhere, I took it as a sign to create a sporadic (maybe quarterly) series that shares a little tidbit from Hollywood's most humble and earnest actors.
I’m starting with Keanu’s perfect day, which includes eating, lots of sex, socializing, swimming, reading, and motorcycle rides. Party on, dudes!
Through Saul Leiter’s Lens
Let Your Backbone Slip
There used to be an epic dance party in Austin called Second Sunday Sock Hop. The DJs would spin midcentury vinyl, and people would show up wearing vintage attire. While flipping through my CDs (that’s right), I found a compilation album the SSSH DJs created for a New Year’s Eve party at Longbranch Inn. Only the first fifty attendees received one. Listening to it took me back, so I added the songs I could find to this playlist so my buddies and I could enjoy them in this modern world.